So.. The suites called to let us know at 3pm-ish that we had water again. That was met with a raucous applause.

We went to In-n-Out Burger for dinner! I’ve been hearing about this place for years. Everything is fresh, fresh veggies, meat etc etc… So not only is it tastier, it’s better for you too. (Keep telling yourself that.) And oh man…. It was gooooooood. We will definitely be heading out there again. And the lady gave us stickers. Stickers rock.

No water at the suites. No joke. I guess there hasn’t been water all day. Funny thing is, there’s water gushing out of something into the parking lot at an alarming rate.

Hopefully they get it sorted out by morning. Today turned out alright but it was tremendously long and draining.

FYI: Exit row seats do not recline. Do not choose exit row seats if you plan to sleep.

Though you’d be amazed at how many different ways I figured out to attempt to sleep. Attempt being the operative term here. Some of them worked, but I’m pretty sure that was because there was no way I was going to stay awake much longer… Not due to any comfort or logistics of the situations.

USAirways ≠ United Airlines.

I always fly Northwest. They have the nice new terminal with the awesome (and well-marked - this is key) parking structure. Smith terminal went stagnant in the late 60s and never got an update. And it evidently has the biggest parking structure ever. Literally. It’s 800 miles long. I parked in the absolute farthest possible corner from the terminal. Literally. There’s no clear markings as to where the terminal is. So once you’re in there, you just follow the arrows that say “To Terminal”… And they often end at a little lobby with an elevator and another arrow saying “To Terminal”. I figured, if I turn around now, it’ll turn out to be just up there and I will have wasted all the time walking back. Should have turned around. Seriously should have turned around. It went on forever.

I always fly Northwest. There’s only one major airline that starts with “N”. There are two that start with “U”. However, at 6am after an hour of sleep tops… There’s only one airline that starts with “U”. And I picked the wrong one. I’m late at this point, so I scramble into the line to check in. I get up there and it’s not accepting my confirmation code. The woman asks me what flight I’m on and where to, and then says, “Honey that’s USAir. Down at the other end of the terminal.”

I’m mortified at this point because I know I’m late. So I run down there and around everyone and up to the counter. I say, “I have to check in for the 7:57 flight to Phoenix!” And the woman says, “Get in line.” and I say, “Will I be ok?” and she says, “Probably, get in line.” So I do. And four people from the front another woman yells, “Closing the flight to Phoenix!” I scramble in front of everyone and say, “I’m on that flight…” At this point, I thought she was pissed. After the fact I realised that she was running around trying to figure out if she could still get me on the flight. And that was a no-go. So she looks into the situation and says, “The earliest flight I can get you on is 5:17.”

*blink*

Had no choice really. Said as much and got bumped. She did put me in an exit row so I would have a window seat.. Was really nice of her.

It’s about 7:30a at this point. I have 8 hours to kill.

Here’s the other thing. I was scheduled to fly with Will. He called me on my way into DTW while waiting to check in to let me know where he was. Called me after checking in as well. I was just getting out of the car at that point to begin my epic journey across the plains of the Smith Terminal parking structure. Called to check on me while I was waiting in line (at the correct airline). And I called him to tell him I got bumped. So now he gets to fly alone.

I ended up heading back towards home. Stopped in Royal Oak for coffee and a cinnamon roll from Caribou Coffee. I ended up heading home for a couple of hours and then back to the airport.

I parked in the right place this time. Went to the right airline this time. Checked in. Realised as I got to security that my gate number wasn’t on my ticket. Another one of the amazing wonders of the Smith Terminal. There are no monitors anywhere. Anywhere. So I scrambled back to the counter and found out my gate number.

Everything was basically smooth sailing from there on out. I was worried about having to get a cab when I got to the airport but Will and our car-mate Joseph agreed to meet me when I got there. My ticket didn’t have any information about my layover in Phoenix, but I eventually figured out it was a bit over an hour and on the same plane.

Really, the only bad thing that happened after that was that I second guessed myself on whether I wanted a sandwich and by the time I asked they were out. The flight attendant felt bad though, it was kind of funny. “Oh, honey, I don’t want you to be hungry. I’ll go back and find you something, I promise.” He ended up giving me a few more snack packets because there really wasn’t much of anything and I didn’t want whatever else they were serving. It worked out alright.

No lost luggage, I was found by my people when I got there, and the night ended with buying a box of Kix for breakfast in the morning. After everything that happened, I couldn’t ask for much more than that.

Time to dive into training!

Well. I suppose didn’t mention one of the best parts of being a Mac Genius: two weeks of training at Apple Corporate in Cupertino, CA. It’s officially booked. I leave at 8am on 10 June and get back into DTW at 6am on 23 June. (Thanks HR for the crazy timing, lol.)

Ten days of training involving all aspects of being a Mac Genius. 8-5p every day, weekend open. Per-diem food coverage and travel expenses. Travel time paid for (OVERTIME nonetheless).

I have no idea what to expect. No one has really been all that clear about it, although to be fair, I haven’t really pushed the issue. One of the people I will be working with is going with me. The way I figure it, if we can still put up with each other after 2 weeks training in CA, we’ll be totally fine.

Onward!

I got a call a couple of days ago to come into the store and do my new hire paperwork. I went in earlier today and took care of it. I put in my two weeks at my other job as of last Thursday. I met some of the people I’m going to be working with. Also, it turns out the guy training to be Genius that I met when I came in for my interview got promoted.

Day after tomorrow is my official date of hire. My benefits start that day, none of that waiting period crap.

It’s starting to feel more real.

LonEagle: holy crap I’m bored
Kattni: we can play 20 questions
Kattni: I have something in mind
Bill C: boobs.
Adam M: heh
Kattni: No, that’s you.
Bill C: damn.
Adam M: that’s most guys.
LonEagle: is it mineral?
Kattni: no.
Bill C: is it boobs?
LonEagle: is it alive?
cbaoth: Is it round?
Kattni: no, yes, no.
Adam M: dog
Kattni: no
Zachary: Sexier than a bread-box?
cbaoth: Aww… not boobs.
Kattni: Zachary, no…
Bill C: I know, it’s boobs!
Zachary: Could Peter put his penis in it?
Kattni: Gah.. probably.
Kattni: but that’s a lot of things
Zachary: It’s a kitten.
Kattni: nope.
LonEagle: Kattni, is it human?
Kattni: nope.
LonEagle: Kattni, is it an animal?
Kattni: yes.
Adam M: fish.
LonEagle: Kattni, vertebrate?
Kattni: Adam M, no, LonEagle, yes.
LonEagle: Kattni, mammal?
Kattni: yes.
Adam M: squirrel?
Kattni: no.
Adam M: rabbit?
Kattni: no.
Adam M: human?
Kattni: no.
LonEagle: Kattni, bigger than a bread-box?
Kattni: that was asked already silly.
Adam M: Peter?
Adam M: hehe.
Kattni: LonEagle, hrm. maybe by a little.
Adam M: raccoon?
Kattni: no.
Adam M: possum.
Kattni: no.
Adam M: deer.
Kattni: no.
LonEagle: Kattni, occurs in north america?
Adam M: elk.
Bill C: is it a rodent?
LonEagle: naturally.
Kattni: LonEagle, shit. lemme check.
Kattni: lol.
Adam M: camel?
LonEagle: Kattni, where do you live? : P
Peter B: moose?
Kattni: LonEagle, yes it occurs in NA.
JohnF: Peter, a /little/ bigger than a bread box.
Adam M: wolverine.
Peter B: it could be a really small moose.
JohnF: man, you must have some monster fucking loaves in London Town.
Kattni: rol. ahaha.
JohnF: good thing I’m home.
* JohnF resumes working.
Peter B: a loaf of bread the size of an elk.
LonEagle: Kattni, does it have claws?
Kattni: yep.
Adam M: beaver.
Kattni: no.
Adam M: weasel.
Kattni: no.
Adam M: otter.
Peter B: ferret.
Kattni: Adam M, win. Sea otter.
LonEagle: Kattni, yarr.
Adam M: whoo.
Kattni: LonEagle, aww. : (
LonEagle: I lose.
Peter B: I think you could fit a sea otter in a bread-bin.
Adam M: uh. no. otter is fairly good sized.
Kattni: Peter, they are a big bigger than that.
Peter B: we have a pretty big bread-bins.
Kattni: lol. Well. You’re fucking weird.
LonEagle: I was thinking badger.
Peter B: obviously he’d have to wrap his tail up. a fully-stretched otter would fit.
Kattni: ok I have another one.
JohnF: Kattni, so quick to judge?
Peter B: but then again, a fully-stretched cat wouldn’t fit.
Adam M: animal?
Kattni: no.
Adam M: plant?
Kattni: no.
Peter B: cooter?
Kattni: no.
Adam M: metal?
Kattni: no.
Peter B: minaral? er.
Kattni: no.
Peter B: mineral?
Kattni: not that either.
Adam M: air?
Kattni: no.
Peter B: um. it must be one of animal/vegetable/mineral.
Kattni: hrm. well.
Peter B: those are the only three things allowed.
Adam M: bigger than Peter’s butt?
Kattni: Ok, I guess it’s either made of veg or synthesised by humans.
Peter B: tofu?
Kattni: no.
LonEagle: Kattni, then it’s mineral or something.
Kattni: ok solly : (
Adam M: miniwheats?
LonEagle: Kattni, if it was like, a plastic bag, it would be mineral. if it were, like, crisco, that’s vegetable.
Kattni: well it can be made of more than one type of thing.
Peter B: !g animal vegetable mineral
Willow: URL: http://www.modestypanel.com/whatisit/
Willow: Title: Animal Vegetable Mineral Quiz
Peter B: sushi?
Kattni: no.
Adam M: pizza?
Peter B: bull semen?
Kattni: no, no.
Peter B: dog semen?
Kattni: no. Peter, stfu.
Peter B: goat semen?
Kattni: it’s not semen of any kind. lol.
Peter B: any kind of semen? doh.
Adam M: will it kill Peter?
Peter B: well I have no idea then.
Kattni: it could if you tried.
Peter B: if it’s not semen… I just dunno.
Adam M: edible?
Kattni: no.
Peter B: wearable?
Kattni: no.
Peter B: fuckable?
Adam M: wood?
Peter B: morning wood?
Kattni: maybe, can be, and no.
Adam M: I hate you Peter.
Peter B: rol. rubber?
Kattni: no.
Adam M: shoe?
Kattni: no.
Peter B: dog?
Kattni: no.
Peter B: elephant?
Kattni: Peter, it’s not an animal.
Peter B: ok. sheep?
Kattni: Anyone here have ops? lol
Peter B: are fish animals?
Kattni: Oh you’re already voiced. Gee I wonder why.
Adam M: bigger than a bread-box?
Kattni: Adam M, no. Peter, it’s not alive in any way.
Peter B: smaller than a bread-box?
Kattni: no.
Peter B: A BREAD-BOX?
Kattni: yea.
Peter B: rol.
Kattni: I’m such an asshole. aahaha. ok ok.
Adam M: ring?
Kattni: Adam M, I was serious.
Adam M: gah
Kattni: I was thinking bread-box.
Peter B: our bread-box is made of metal.
Adam M: I’m thinking of something.
Kattni: well they can be plastic or wood or whatever. which is why it was tough. oh bogo gets to go this time, fine then. I liked being the pwner. ok um… is it animal.
Adam M: yes.
Kattni: furry. that is a question. does it have fur.
Adam M: yes.
Kattni: does it have hooves.
Adam M: no.
Kattni: does it have claws.
Adam M: yes.
Kattni: does it live in water.
Peter B: The royal family are having dinner, and they’re playing twenty questions, and Camilla is thinking of a black man’s cock. So Prince Phillip asks, “Is it bigger than a bread box,” and Camilla says, “Yes.” Prince Charles says, “Can I put it in my mouth?” Camilla: “Yes.” Then the Queen says, “Is it a black man’s cock?”
Kattni: lol. Peter, what is wrong with you.
Peter B: LOBSTER. it’s a joke from the office.
Adam M: No, Peter.
Peter B: (the uk office).
Commodore64: ROFL
Kattni: Adam M, does it live in water.
Peter B: LOBSTER.
Commodore64: haha.
Adam M: it lives near water.
Peter B: hm. CRAB?
Adam M: spends time in it.
Kattni: hrm.
Peter B: seagull? puffin? seal?
Adam M: but not aquatic. No, Peter.
Peter B: sea lion?
Adam M: No, Peter.
Peter B: mermaid?
JohnF: wtf is this, #20 questions.
Adam M: no.
Kattni: yea.
Adam M: yes.
Kattni: John, yea.
JohnF: it’s supposed to be #bitter, god damn it.
Peter B: sea otter?
Kattni: lol.
Adam M: No, Peter.
Peter B: river otter?
Kattni: does it eat veg or meat.
Adam M: No, Peter
Kattni: er.
Kattni: does it eat veg.
Adam M: lemme check Kattni.
Kattni: k.
Peter B: is it bigger than a breadbox?
Kattni: poor JohnF.
* Kattni gives JohnF snuggles.
Peter B: JohnF, bitter about what? Adam M, is it bull semen?
Adam M: Kattni, omnivore.
Kattni: k.
Peter B: is it a goat?
Adam M: Peter nothing you ever guess will be correct.
Peter B: :((((
Adam M: Kattni, correction. its a carnivore.
Kattni: ok.
Peter B: stoat? ferret?
Kattni: does it walk on 4 legs.
Peter B: weasel?
Adam M: Kattni, 4 legs.
Kattni: does it have a tail.
Adam M: yes.
Kattni: does it move in herds.
Peter B: everything has a tail more or less.
JohnF: Peter, bitter about everything.
Adam M: no herds.
Peter B: JohnF, any particular reason?
Kattni: packs?
Adam M: no packs.
JohnF: Peter, just how it is.
Kattni: does it move in a group of any sort.
Adam M: no. well. family. while kids grow.
Peter B: is it a vole?
Kattni: is it apes.
Adam M: No, Peter.
Adam M: Kattni, no.
Adam M: (apes have no tails)
Kattni: oh true.
Kattni: is it monkeys.
Adam M: nope.
Peter B: they have vestigial tails.
Kattni: is it a rain forest animal.
Adam M: this is a semi aquatic furry animal with a tail and claws that is a carnivore.
Adam M: not the habitat for this animal.
Kattni: DINOSAUR
Kattni: no
Brian P: PLATYPUS!
Adam M: Brian is right.
Kattni: wow.
Adam M: heh, it’s one of my favorite animals.
Kattni: that’s why I like being the one with the idea.
Kattni: hehe.
Peter B: ok I have one.
Adam M: Peter, is it semen?
Peter B: DING
Kattni: lol
Peter B: but what kind of semen?
Brian P: bull.
Adam M: bull.
Peter B: DING.
Kattni: wow.
Peter B: damn. you guys are good.
Adam M: i feel dirty.
Peter B: ok lol.
Adam M: Peter has soiled me.
Peter B: I have another one. A proper one this time.
Adam M: is it a goat?
Brian P: Andrei Shevchenko.
Peter B: no.
Peter B: no.
Kattni: semen.
Adam M: is it animal?
Peter B: it is not any kind of semen.
Kattni: wow.
Kattni: Then you are not Peter.
Brian P: john terry tied up on your bed?
Peter B: it is an animal byproduct, but not quite animal.
Brian P: bullshit.
Adam M: is it the male nurse that Peter lusts after?
Peter B: no, no.
Kattni: Brian, lol.
Adam M: Peter, feces?
Peter B: no.
Adam M: urine?
Kattni: blood.
Peter B: no.
Peter B: no.
Adam M: eggs?
Peter B: no.
Kattni: placenta.
Peter B: lol no.
Kattni: hehe.
Adam M: fur.
Peter B: no.
Kattni: skin.
Peter B: no.
Adam M: kidney.
Peter B: no.
Adam M: is it a part of an animal?
Kattni: black man’s cock.
Peter B: no.
Peter B: lol.
Peter B: no.
Adam M: meat?
Peter B: no.
Adam M: is it the horse cawk that Peter sucks?
Peter B: no.
Adam M: is it edible?
Peter B: yes.
Adam M: yeast.
Peter B: no.
Adam M: caviar.
Peter B: no, but close.
Adam M: roe?
Peter B: no.
Adam M: pate.
Peter B: no.
Adam M: lutefisk.
Peter B: eeew no.
Peter B: you’ll never get it.
Peter B: especially not just by randomly guessing.
Adam M: is it a water animal thing?
Peter B: no.
Kattni: gefilte fish.
Peter B: no.
Adam M: is it a mammalian byproduct?
Collin: sweat.
Collin: hair.
Collin: methane.
Peter B: Adam M, yes.
Peter B: Collin, no, no, no.
Adam M: is it something most people eat?
Peter B: no.
Collin: is it solid?
Peter B: Collin, somewhat.
Adam M: is it something we call you a sicko for eating?
Peter B: Adam M, yes.
Kattni: vomit.
Adam M: vegemite? marmite?
Peter B: Kattni, nearly
Peter B: Adam M, no
Kattni: nearly?
Peter B: nearly.
Adam M: blood pudding.
Kattni: snot.
Peter B: it’s dog vomit.
Brian P: fois gras?
Kattni: oh.
Kattni: well i win then.
Brian P: I was closest!
Peter B: yes.
Peter B: no, Kattni was.
Adam M: Peter, your a sicko.
Peter B: rol.
Adam M: why the hell would you eat dog vomit.
Peter B: dogs eat it.
Kattni: luckily.
Kattni: means i don’t have to clean it up.
Kattni: it’s gross but still.
Brian P: good enough for dog, it’s good enough for Peter.
Kattni: ew.
Peter B: nothx.
boskone: Kattni, they usually puke puke back up, though, don’t they?
Adam M: Brian P, wonder if he likes it more than the semen.
Kattni: boskone, na.
Brian P: oh god.
Kattni: unless he was going to anyway.
Adam M: i have something in mind.
Peter B: biokatt’s turn.
Kattni: ooh.
Adam M: fine.
Kattni: so wait only veg/min/ani allowed?
Peter B: as biokatt got the vomit.
Adam M: i’ll keep it for my next turn.
Adam M: ok.
Kattni: so wait only veg/min/ani allowed? poke.
Adam M: Kattni, just pick something thats mostly identifiable as one of those.
Kattni: oki.
Kattni: gimme a sec here.
Peter B: try not to use a bodily fluid.
Peter B: I know the temptation to do so is great.
Peter B: it’s all I can do to avoid picking bull semen next time.
Kattni: it is. that’s why it is taking me a while.
Adam M: only for you Peter.
Kattni: ok.
Kattni: got it.
Adam M: animal?
Kattni: no.
Adam M: vegetable?
Kattni: no.
Adam M: is it metal?
Kattni: no.
Adam M: is it glass?
Kattni: no.
Collin: solid?
Kattni: yes.
Adam M: is it bigger than a breadbox?
Peter B: fyi, the bull semen fixation is in honour of spacemoose.
Peter B: http://www.hackcanada.com/canadian/zines/spacemoose/millennium.html
Willow: Title: Millennium Moose
Kattni: Adam M, not really.
Kattni: so no.
Peter B: notice the canister in the second panel.
Peter B: Kattni, can you stick it in your mouth?
Kattni: Peter, if you wanted to.
Peter B: Is it an ice lolly?
Kattni: no.
Adam M: Peter, Jackass 2 drinking semen scene.
Adam M: Kattni, is it edible?
Peter B: Adam M, what the fuck? what kind of semen?
Kattni: Adam M, no.
Adam M: Peter, go watch, you sicko.
Adam M: Kattni, is it rubber?
Kattni: no.
Peter B: is it gum?
Kattni: no.
Peter B: toothpaste?
Kattni: no.
Peter B: anusol?
Collin: wood?
Kattni: no, no.
Peter B: erectile tissue?
Kattni: no.
Adam M: Kattni, is it heavy?
Kattni: no.
Collin: does it bounce?
Kattni: no.
Adam M: is it wood?
Kattni: no.
Kattni: Collin, already asked that Adam.
Kattni: heh.
Collin: is it cube-shaped?
Peter B: is it ice?
Kattni: no.
Kattni: no.
Collin: is it a cylinder?
Kattni: no.
Collin: is it a sphere?
Peter B: is it manmade?
Kattni: no.
Kattni: yes.
Collin: can opener?
Collin: heh.
Kattni: no.
Kattni: heh.
Peter B: does it have a mechanism?
Adam M: is it a computer?
Kattni: no, no.
JohnF: openwrt?
Kattni: no.
Collin: is it made of a single object?
Kattni: um.
Kattni: yea.
adx: openwrt for life!
Peter B: is it steel?
Kattni: no.
Rhinox: is it a tumor?
Kattni: no.
Adam M: is it a book.
Kattni: lol.
Kattni: no
Peter B: it’s naaht a tumah
Brian P: is it gay?
Kattni: no.
Collin: is it shiny?
JohnF: Rhinox, it’s not a tumour.
Peter B: is pang a homosexual?
Kattni: Collin, not really. no.
JohnF: Peter, still hopeful eh.
Peter B: is it leather?
Kattni: no.
Peter B: is it denser than water?
Kattni: ohrm.
Brian P: sorta water?
Kattni: it would probably float.
Brian P: IT’S A TURD
Kattni: no.
Peter B: rol.
Collin: is it hollow?
Kattni: no.
Collin: styrofoam?
Kattni: no.
Collin: cardboard?
Peter B: is it of uniform composition?
Kattni: no.
Kattni: yes.
Kattni: i think.
Kattni: i don’t know what you mean by that.
Kattni: it’s made of one type of thing.
Peter B: is it metallic?
Brian P: is it a dildo?
Kattni: no.
Kattni: no.
Brian P: a rabbit?
Kattni: no.
Kattni: lol.
Peter B: well I mean is it a bulk substance like rubber of steel or brass or something.
Kattni: no.
Kattni: it is not a bulk substance.
Peter B: as opposed to something like a pencil which is made of wood and graphite.
Adam M: is it manmade?
Kattni: yea.
Collin: does it contain metal?
Kattni: no.
Collin: does it contain wood?
Kattni: no.
Peter B: does it contain plastic?
Collin: hmm.
Kattni: yes.
Peter B: is it entirely plastic?
Collin: soda bottle?
Kattni: yes, no.
Peter B: turkey baster?
Kattni: no.
Peter B: as used for artificial insemination?
Kattni: no.
Brian P: lol.
Brian P: a disposable chopstick.
Kattni: no.
Amit: Is it made of HPET? :p
Kattni: no?
Amit: er, HDPE.
Peter B: is it semen-related?
Kattni: no.
Peter B: hrrm.
Peter B: that’s me all out of ideas then.
Kattni: again.
Brian P: that’s Peter fucked.
Amit: saran wrap.
Kattni: no.
Collin: is it a toy?
Kattni: no.
Collin: kitchen tool?
Kattni: no.
Brian P: is it an implement?
Amit: Is it a household item?
Kattni: hrm.
Kattni: no, and can be.
Adam M: ice scraper?
Kattni: no.
Peter B: toilet plunger?
Kattni: no.
JohnF: it occurs to me that we’re well past 20 questions.
Peter B: yes.
Kattni: i know.
Peter B: I give up.
Adam M: i give up.
Kattni: it turned into N Questions a long time ago.
Peter B: oh wait.
Kattni: really?
Peter B: is it a bull wanker?
Kattni: no.
Kattni: omg.
Adam M: i give in.
Kattni: really give up?
Adam M: yeah.
Kattni: velcro.
Peter B: yes.
Peter B: wtf.
Adam M: heh.
Kattni: lol.
Peter B: velcro.
Adam M: hahahahahahahahaha.
JohnF: you said no to is it man made.
Peter B: you can’t eat velcro.
Peter B: no she didn’t.
Kattni: no i didn’t.
Kattni: i said yes twice in fact.
Adam M: no she said yes to man made.
Peter B: twice.
Adam M: ok.
Kattni: i also didn’t say you could eat it, i said you could put it in your mouth.
Kattni: and you asked, Peter.
Kattni: and you probably put everything in your mouth.
Adam M: does she go again or do i go?
Peter B: rol.
Peter B: as you’re desperate to go you can go.
Collin: you said it was entirely plastic.
Collin: velcro isn’t all plastic.
Peter B: yes it is isn’t it?
JohnF: Collin, what else is it made of.
Collin: no it isn’t.
JohnF: fucking fairy dust?
Collin: it’s plastic hooks on cloth.
Peter B: Plastic cloth.
Collin: and the other half is cloth.
JohnF: the ‘cloth’ is also plastic.
Kattni: not the industrial strength shit i got here.
Peter B: Adam M, is it bigger than a bread-bin?
Amit: it’s not plastic, I think it’s synthetic fibers.
Adam M: Peter, yes.
Collin: indeed. not plastic.
Peter B: Adam M, can I stick it in my mouth?
boskone: depends on the specific velcro.
Adam M: Peter, you could stick part of it in your mouth.
Brian P: or his anus?
Collin: but it’s not common enough to attribute a yes to that, in my opinion.
Adam M: or into his anus.
Peter B: Adam M, would I want to?
Collin: but anyway.
Adam M: Peter, you might.
Peter B: rol.
Peter B: is it an animal?
Brian P: gerbil!
Adam M: Peter, yes.
Peter B: elephant’s trunk.
Adam M: Brian P: bigger than a bread-box.
Brian P: Peter, you would?
Peter B: rol.
Amit: ‘Hook and loop fasteners consist of two layers: a ‘hook’ side, which is a piece of fabric covered with tiny plastic hooks, and a ‘loop’ side, which is covered with even smaller and ‘hairier’ plastic loops. ‘
Adam M: Peter, no.
Peter B: is it a mammal?
Adam M: yes.
Amit: I guess it _is_ plastic.
Peter B: is it bigger than a car?
Amit: ungulate?
Adam M: some of them can be bigger.
Peter B: is it a black man’s cock?
Collin: Amit, piece of fabric.
Amit: ok ok.
Amit: nylon.
Amit: :p
Peter B: Collin, plastic fabric.
Adam M: Amit, yes.
Peter B: is it a horse?
Peter B: is it a camel?
boskone: Collin, that’s not necessarily true; I have a piece of velcro here that doesn’t use fabric as a backing. :p
Peter B: is it a rhino?
Peter B: is it a hippo?
Brian P: a buffalo.
Collin: boskone, and I have some that does. :þ
Brian P: caribou!
Collin: so a ‘yes’ is still inaccurate : )
Peter B: is it a giraffe?
Adam M: Peter, kind of horse.
Peter B: is it a reindeer?
Kattni: shit dude it’s hailing too.
Peter B: is it a zebra?
Peter B: is it a donkey?
Peter B: is it a mule?
Amit: Is it a pony?
Amit: :p
Collin: antelope.
Adam M: horse.
Adam M: not a pony.
boskone: Collin, No, it isn’t; a significant portion of the time, velcro is all-plastic.
Adam M: not a zebra.
JohnF: bbl, food retrieval!
Peter B: are you wanting a specific kind of horse?
Adam M: yes.
Brian P: A Budweiser Clydesdale?
Amit: arabian horse?
Peter B: well you can fuck off then.
Adam M: Brian P, no.
Adam M: Amit, yes
Collin: appalachian. drat.
Amit: WINNAR.
Peter B: I only know of ’shetland pony’ and ’shire horses’.
Adam M: Peter, you r lame.
Peter B: horses scare me.
Adam M: heh.
Brian P: arabs are class horses.
Peter B: donkeys rule though.

Sleeping. Phone rings. I don’t usually bother with it, but I thought I recognised the number, wasn’t sure how, so I picked up.

Me: Errmm .. hello?
Person: This is Linda from Apple 12 Oaks. May I speak to Katherine?
Me: This is…
Here I am pulled out of dead sleep into half daze.
I think there was small talk here.
Linda: I’m doing well. I’m calling about an official job offer.
Me: O… k…
Linda: I just want to go over some things. I know you’ve worked some retail, but I just want to make sure you’re aware of some ….

See, now. I am so used to horrible things happening to me and nothing ever working out. Honest, I shit you not, I’m only half hearing what she’s saying about flexibility in schedule and the number of hours I’ll be working, and I’m waiting… Because with the way everything has gone for me, I figure she’s going to say, “I’m calling to officially not offer you the job.”

She reaches the end, gives me a number and says, “Do you need some time to think about it?”

Me: No!

I hung up the phone and screamed. Really. Still flipping when I called my dad. I started spamming my entire contact list with “I GOT THE JOB WITH APPLE”. Suckers.

I’M GOING TO BE A MAC GENIUS!!!!

Well, it wasn’t really a gauntlet. It went pretty smooth in fact.

Between a ton of interviews with the recruiter and some craziness to get interviews in with the store, everything is down to the waiting period.

Seven to ten days. Seven to ten looong days.