USAirways ≠ United Airlines.

I always fly Northwest. They have the nice new terminal with the awesome (and well-marked - this is key) parking structure. Smith terminal went stagnant in the late 60s and never got an update. And it evidently has the biggest parking structure ever. Literally. It’s 800 miles long. I parked in the absolute farthest possible corner from the terminal. Literally. There’s no clear markings as to where the terminal is. So once you’re in there, you just follow the arrows that say “To Terminal”… And they often end at a little lobby with an elevator and another arrow saying “To Terminal”. I figured, if I turn around now, it’ll turn out to be just up there and I will have wasted all the time walking back. Should have turned around. Seriously should have turned around. It went on forever.

I always fly Northwest. There’s only one major airline that starts with “N”. There are two that start with “U”. However, at 6am after an hour of sleep tops… There’s only one airline that starts with “U”. And I picked the wrong one. I’m late at this point, so I scramble into the line to check in. I get up there and it’s not accepting my confirmation code. The woman asks me what flight I’m on and where to, and then says, “Honey that’s USAir. Down at the other end of the terminal.”

I’m mortified at this point because I know I’m late. So I run down there and around everyone and up to the counter. I say, “I have to check in for the 7:57 flight to Phoenix!” And the woman says, “Get in line.” and I say, “Will I be ok?” and she says, “Probably, get in line.” So I do. And four people from the front another woman yells, “Closing the flight to Phoenix!” I scramble in front of everyone and say, “I’m on that flight…” At this point, I thought she was pissed. After the fact I realised that she was running around trying to figure out if she could still get me on the flight. And that was a no-go. So she looks into the situation and says, “The earliest flight I can get you on is 5:17.”

*blink*

Had no choice really. Said as much and got bumped. She did put me in an exit row so I would have a window seat.. Was really nice of her.

It’s about 7:30a at this point. I have 8 hours to kill.

Here’s the other thing. I was scheduled to fly with Will. He called me on my way into DTW while waiting to check in to let me know where he was. Called me after checking in as well. I was just getting out of the car at that point to begin my epic journey across the plains of the Smith Terminal parking structure. Called to check on me while I was waiting in line (at the correct airline). And I called him to tell him I got bumped. So now he gets to fly alone.

I ended up heading back towards home. Stopped in Royal Oak for coffee and a cinnamon roll from Caribou Coffee. I ended up heading home for a couple of hours and then back to the airport.

I parked in the right place this time. Went to the right airline this time. Checked in. Realised as I got to security that my gate number wasn’t on my ticket. Another one of the amazing wonders of the Smith Terminal. There are no monitors anywhere. Anywhere. So I scrambled back to the counter and found out my gate number.

Everything was basically smooth sailing from there on out. I was worried about having to get a cab when I got to the airport but Will and our car-mate Joseph agreed to meet me when I got there. My ticket didn’t have any information about my layover in Phoenix, but I eventually figured out it was a bit over an hour and on the same plane.

Really, the only bad thing that happened after that was that I second guessed myself on whether I wanted a sandwich and by the time I asked they were out. The flight attendant felt bad though, it was kind of funny. “Oh, honey, I don’t want you to be hungry. I’ll go back and find you something, I promise.” He ended up giving me a few more snack packets because there really wasn’t much of anything and I didn’t want whatever else they were serving. It worked out alright.

No lost luggage, I was found by my people when I got there, and the night ended with buying a box of Kix for breakfast in the morning. After everything that happened, I couldn’t ask for much more than that.

Time to dive into training!