20 April 05 - 09:32pm.
03.october.2006
i don’t get the joke. - ralph s.
“i do a damn good theraputic massage, but you’d have to be closer, i’m afraid.” “yea… those would even outdo gogogadget arms to do it from there” “it’d be like if Mr. Fantastic and Stretch Armstrong had a love child.” - matt and kattni
28.september.2006
well, he’s a well insulated person, isn’t he… - pieter
26.september.2006
where’s my jack daniels… i have to drink while i read papers. - ralph s.
20.september.2006
apple wireless mouty mice! er… - jeff
11.september.2006
“he was in the ‘ewoks: battle of endor’ movie.” “wasn’t endor in lord of the rings?” “no, that was… something-dor. trog… dor.” - jeff and kattni
30.august.2006
like those little… what are they… geek squad. please. i forgot more about computers today than they know period. - jorge
27.august.2006
ow i pulled pubic hair. - jeff
18.august.2006
“what do you think of the colour of this shirt?” “it’s pretty.” “any idea what you’d think of it on me?” “i guess… as an obstacle. but a very pretty one.” - kattni and scott
18.august.2006
your ass crack is not considered an orifice. - kattni
16.august.2006
i’m glad that tickling my ass amuses you. - jeff
15.august.2006
you can continue to handle it… - jeff
14.august.2006
that was going to be my backup master’s thesis; combinatorics and peas porridge. - jeff
where is soup. - jeff
9.august.2006
did i tell about the man who’s wife during sexual intimacy demanded that he give her several hard whacks on the bottom? - birkhill
snack wrap. premium chicken. sounds like a winner. - birkhill
*chick in the hallway literally cackles* *class laughs* .. speaking of drug use…. - birkhill
see, eventually they just lead the kid down the garden path… and he doesn’t end up in a garden, either, lemme tell you… - birkhill
7.august.2006
where would i go to find anorexics? i’d go to the seven sisters. the 7 (most elite) schools in the country. i’d go there. and i’d find me some anorexics. - birkhill
nasty. nasty, nasty, nasty. nasty. nasty. … nasty. ok, enough with this nastiness, lets move on. - birkhill
6.august.2006
“why is it saying ‘audio quality: 0%’?” “because it’s analysing my voice and it doesn’t think i have anything quality to say.” - kattni and jeff
4.august.2006
[in reference to: (http://scottcollins.net/blog/2005/07/on-becoming-video-game-programmer.html) (http://scottcollins.net/blog/2005/07/on-becoming-video-game-programmer.html#c113029783868656965)] “hah! did you send him your resume?” “yea that’s me. no balls, no experience.” “see that’s what you should have done… send him a resume with a picture of your balls on it.” “‘here, i had to send this landscape because my balls are so big…’” - scott and kattni
30.july.2006
you’re mocking me, aren’t you. - jeff
28.july.2006
waist level work eh? i’m good at that. - dave
“i just called Jeff and he didn’t answer. so i left a message.” “k.” “and sang the meow mix song.” “hahaha.” “and hung up.” “cuz you’re kat right? is… is that right?” “so it’s like ‘first Unheard Message: meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow. end of message.’” “i counted the meows for accuracy. you win.” “: ) indeed.” - kattni and matt
27.july.2006
with russia from love. i mean… - milosz
i feel so blonde now. - milosz
you don’t need an attachment to suck me off. - dave
yea, but that would be a little weird… because what would happen when your husband doesn’t give you his paws and pees on the floor a little. - jeff
i might be sleepy but i’m not stupid. - jeff
25.july.2006
i would work for hardware. - jeff
20.july.2006
“you should totally get him a pair of american flag parachute pants. even you. you’d wear them.” “hell yea. i was thinking halloween.” “oh. well, i can’t be starla.” “yes. you already have the sauce pans.” - kattni and jeff
i’m gunna go sleep on the foam. - jeff
17.july.2006
that’s true, i do want to maintain my amateur status. - jeff
16.july.2006
“do you taste good?” “i don’t know, i never tried to eat myself.” - kattni and jeff
12.july.2006
i laughed in a very bitter way. - jeff
6.july.2006
ha, i just got an invite on myspace to be a penis enlargement salesperson’s friend. like i need a bigger dick. - dave
i suppose bayonets had some use… but it only served to take a knife fight two feet away from you. - scott
5.july.2006
that’s strange. what does that mean, anal capacity. - burkhill
3.july.2006
dude, i’m just so fucking ADD i got to protect my self from… my self. - milosz
29.june.2006
a chococat covert cam. - jeff
28.june.2006
you could have clip sex. they sell all the parts. - jeff
27.june.2006
i think i’d need a couple years of therapy and a beer for that. - jeff
16.june.2006
“but that’s your roommate, he’s a dork.” “coming from you!” “i know! we can smell our own kind…” - jeff and kattni
he’d have the tonguejo. - jeff
18.june.2006
a couple of your berries had an accident. they accidently fell in my face. - brian
“should i put this away.. what is this. it’s just a glass.” “no, leave that out in case we need to make a second batch.” “why are we going to need a second batch.” “well we’re not going to have enough dough to make a second batch.” “why do we need a second batch?” “in case we screw it up.” “why are we going to screw it up.” “just in case.” “how are we going to screw it up?” “we might burn them.” “how would we burn them?” “because we just put them. on a barbeque. in a dutch oven.” - mike, carol and kattni
12.june.2006
“so all you need is an f in biology and a dog to get an overly giggly girl with a motorcycle.” “man… i had it all wrong in high school.” - kattni and jim
“man, he’s already got her up to his room! man.. he’s fast.” “and then he gets on his computer.” “yea that’s where he loses her. come on, chicks don’t dig floppy drives.” - jim and andrew
3.june.2006
i don’t think i’ve ever seen them.. not hard before. - jeff
“did you like that?” “i did… i’m just trying to figure out how to get an iSight to you in the next 5 minutes.” - kattni and jeff
“what does ‘futare no tameni kanpai’ mean?” “time to get a japanese dictionary?” - kattni and jeff
“do you realise how much sense that does not make?” “it makes plenty of nonsense.” - kattni and jeff
1.june.2006
“what was that.” “probably me eating.” “it sounded like a fart.” “i was eating a mushroom..?” - kattni and jeff
“well, wait. you live on the water. does it lead to the ocean?” “oh well… i don’t know where it leads. we have sewers so i guess it leads to the water reclamation plant.” “no, jackass. the harbour!” “the harbour? what about it? oh. yea, i guess it leads to the ocean…” - kattni and jeff
13.may.2006
“yes, i don’t like giving information about my… information.” - jeff
12.may.2006
“what’s up?” “you, in a minute…” - dave and kattni
i _should_ be a porn star. i wouldn’t even need a fluffer or anything. and i could go the entire length of the movie. - dave
cyberbegging. classy. - adam
10.may.2006
it’s a henry the eighth hat. looks real stupid. - pieter
9.may.2006
“vegas hoes are ludicrously cheap… cheap enough to buy for other people as practical jokes… that NEVER gets old.” “rol. no, i don’t see how it could.” “although, at some point midway through hundreds of dollars of joke hookers… it occurred to matt that he could have been getting laid the whole time…” - jeremy and kattni
“the only reason i asked was so that you would say ‘awesome’. and you went through that whole thing and you didn’t say awesome.” “ah. then you will have to keep leading me, and i will have to keep avoiding the trap. but i’m sure i’ll fail, since you’re so much smarter than me…” “i don’t know about all that.” “you’ll set a very clever trap…” “yea, like… say awesome.” “awesome. AW. DAMNIT.” - kattni and jeff
6.may.2006
“see it’s an incense burner made out of just pvc pipe and two nuts. see, it’s like macgyver.” “no, macgyver would have made a bomb out of just pvc pipe and two nuts.” “you have a pvc pipe and two nuts.” “yea. and it’s the bomb.” - kattni and dave
they’re just running around everywhere looking like big furry balls of fur. - jeff
“don’t worry. i’m leaving all the eyes-only boxes alone.” “i’m pretty sure there’s some nays-only boxes in there too… okay, really bad word play. sorry.” - kattni and jeff
4.may.2006
see, i’m used to animal scents… i grew up with pets… nothing like this though… it’s just musky and strong… like i like my women… - jeremy
clearly, the filter that governs my colloquialisms is broken. lets both ignore the fact that i just said colloquialisms… it won’t happen again. - jeremy
rock on! see, the good lord only shits on folk so long… then, folk get boobies! - jeremy
3.may.2006
i talked about it in my dissertation… i’ll bring it in sometime. it’s a 70k$ paperweight. - heather
there’s something in the bloody water. - pieter
2.may.2006
wow. that’s a nice switch. - dave
1.may.2006
do you guys want to hear a blonde joke? i heard a doozie today! - pieter
28.april.2006
“it’s not LARPing. they just go out into a field and beat each other with foam swords and shields.” “..at that point, it’s just random foam violence.” - kattni and jeff
27.april.2006
“how old are you?” “24.” “well, again mostly as a point of form, i should point out that if you’re going to go for an older guy you do have your pick of a pretty broad field.” “rol. not so broad, scott.” “i just meant me. i’m pretty broad.” - scott and kattni
26.april.2006
wow. that is crazy. i didn’t know there were security clearanced pizza delivery people. - jeff
24.april.2006
i made a doodie. - dave
23.april.2006
“good luck on friday!” “what’s going on on friday…” “i don’t know. i just forgot.” - dave’s mom, kattni and dave
i could go for some half assed pictures. - jeff
22.april.2006
“so uh… what are you up to later.” “dark room, camera, and laptop apparently.” “ahh. yes. you’d better put it in ink. ‘10pm until ?????: GETTING HUMPED.’” - kattni and jeff
21.april.2006
“don’t i look all professional?” “professional? if your job was being cute… then yes.” - kattni and dave
20.april.2006
you know how on the commercial, they show how they sweat in different colors?.. that hasn’t happened to me yet. - milosz
14.april.2006
leave those off a little longer, and i can dine in. while eating out. - dave
5.april.2006
“i wonder what the going rate for being a sugar daddy is nowadays. hrm….” “i’m expensive. seriously expensive. i also smoke a mean pole.” “aaaand how.” - mike and kattni
31.march.2006
there are plenty of warning shots. - dave
28.march.2006
“that’s the cleanest mess i’ve ever made.” “yes it is.” - dave and kattni
that’s why i used her as a reference. - dave
24.march.2006
well that’s one way to drain the meat. - dave
20.march.2006
that’s why i used her as a reference. - dave
17.january.2006
it leaks! - andrew
10.january.2006
the one thing that striked me was the whole cheating thing, that if you cheat in college you’ll never get nowhere in life. - girl in stats class
9.january.2006
hell ya. that’s the one i made a flight simulator on it, but it could only turn left because i couldn’t do math. it was just a horizon that moved up and down, but it only turned left because i couldn’t grok how to make it turn right… - jorge
4.january.2006
01:27 biokatt| `boobies
01:27 rewt| biokatt: I’m not sure, is it larger than a breadbox?
12.december.2005
ha.. kattni got pwnt by a cookie. - dave
“you would so so so so so be an improvement over tron guy at PC if you dressed as starbuck.” “uh… you would be an improvement over tron guy if you dressed as starbuck.” rick l and kattni
25.november.2005
“my memory is not so good with the names. i think they get mixed in with the “arbitrary labels” file, the contents of which are periodically trashed. whereas a person’s face is appropriately labeled and put in the ‘things to remember’ file.” “the contents of which are also periodically trashed.” “hey now. ….accidentally. sometimes, yes. ACCIDENTALLY” - matt s and kattni
22.november.2005
i wish i could take a screenshot and show you. cuz you’d say, “damn, that’s one mighty fine palace.” “it could only belong to the most powerful (and therfore sexy) man alive. i wonder who it could be?” and I’d be all like “IT’S ME! MEEEEEE!” - matt s
= ohrm uh…guess the emoticon! was it
1) =D
b) =/
c) =P
d) none of the above
e) all of the above
what’s hilarious… was that i started off with a 1 instead of an a… AND DIDN’T EVEN REALISE IT. - matt s
“i realised something this weekend. you and i think and type like adult swim bumps. or rather… adult swim thinks like us.” “hahaha. seriously.” “i know!” “we should patent that way of typing. and make them pay us royalties.” “indeed. and then sue AIM for violation of the first amendment for rate limiting our thought processes.” - kattni and matt s
“you can’t see it. good.” “ya, i have new contacts in today, so you’d better be careful.” “ya, the password is gone. well, actually it’s a new one, i had to change it because it only lets me keep it for so long. now… what is the new one…” “is it my name?” “no.” - purcell and laura
like.. tigers. - purcell
if you can get your friendly rhesus monkey to cooperate. - purcell
17.november.2005
i was doing hardcore rat experiments in the basement. i would do experiments with rats in cages with plaid walls, and some with vertical stripe walls… you get better rats if you raise them with plaid walls. and they’re snappier dressers too. - purcell
aw, shit. well it hasn’t shorted out yet, but i’m worried about it. see this is why they don’t want me having coffee in here, because i make messes like this. which reminds me, i washed my son’s keyboard and we haven’t tried it yet. i should probably do that. you wouldn’t believe the mess that orange juice makes inside a keyboard… you can flush most of it out, but jeez. - purcell
“by the way, is thanksgiving today?” “no.” - purcell and kattni
14.november.2005
wtf. ron jeremy. talking to a tolerable girl with huge breasts. tolerable as in you could fuck her without a pillow case, but that’s about the extent of it. - kattni
8.november.2005
please, PLEASE LET IT BE JOEY PANTS - kattni
well congratulations in an indirect and belated sort of way. - kattni
3.november.2005
it’s a little known fact that penguins really like speed. - purcell
“oh, she’s back. wait… that’s a different person! hah, how long did it take me to notice that she was a different person.” “did you set that up?” “hah, no.. now wait, you’ve messed it up. you have to sit over there today.” “ok.” “it’s amazing, how compliant people are, i just tell her to sit over there and she does.” “well, you’re authority, so…” “oh, it’s so good to hear that.” “you really set it up just so you could hear her say that, didn’t you.” “yes, in fact i paid her, i paid her that green lollipop.” - purcell, laura, the girl who was late and kattni
i’m telling you, the 1952 democratic convention was better than any cartoon ever was. i mean, there were people walking around in bearskins. and racoon skin coats… bear skins, over the shoulder bear skins, the other shoulder was bear. i guess the democrats have gotten more civilized. - purcell
if you wait long enough somebody smarter than you will come along and do the thing you always wanted to do but couldn’t figure out how to do. - purcell
so the best thing is not to run away, but to back away slowly. or to not back away at all. i mean the best thing is to have a grizzly bear there with you…. so the two of them can fight… that or a tyranosaurus or king kong. - purcell
“where’s the sucker i gave you? where is it?” “i finished it.” “oh… well you don’t get another one until tuesday…” - purcell and the girl who was late
“so what’s happening here.” “the engine is disappearing.” “yes, that is typical of canadian airforce transports.” - purcell and the boy in the back
1.november.2005
being drafted is fun.. it’s good exercise. - purcell
28.october.2005
“IM A WICH RU” “NO IM A WARLACH. WARLAK. I DUNNO HOW 2 SPELL IT” - kattni and matt s
27.october.2005
“haven’t you all had intestinal parasites? no? i did. we all did. we had roundworms.” “so we all do?” “no, i did. where i was living.” “oh where you were living.” “ya, i was living in a round worm area. a national round worm preserve.” - purcell and laura
“i knew about ring worms… ” “well that’s a fungal infection. ” “it was disgusting, we used to run from the kids that got it.” “ya, it’s disgusting. and they’re dirty dirty people that get it.” “well wrestlers get it a lot.” “i rest my case.” - laura and purcell
i mean at the time, all the japanese kids were all still traditionally dressed, in the little wooden clogs and kimono type skirts… and we were… i don’t know what you would call us, but riding on a train with women breast feeding… it was unbelievable. women in my house didn’t even have breasts as far as i knew. - purcell
“why is it that sometimes these files will play back and sometimes they don’t… what is the deal with that.” “well… windows media player might be the first problem. .. i’m kidding. i don’t know, there are things called codecs and they’re kind of the backend for different files…” “well, right, but it has played the last three times. i mean look… it’s not playing…” “i don’t know.” “well, i want this to play. i need this to play. see, it’s not going to play. … well it has nothing to do with our class today anyway…” - purcell and kattni
i do get some depth from shading. my nose shades my upper lip, my eyebrows shade my eyes, my chin… well my chin used to shade my neck, but it’s not clear about the chin anymore… - purcell
see, but with a laser you can just go *shht shht* and cut them in half. well with a really good laser. - purcell
well badgers… those aren’t real stripes. they lie about their stripes. - purcell
i didn’t get sprayed directly by one… it was after my friend… but i got caught in the plume….. - purcell
it was the worst experience i’ve ever had. olfactorily. talk about chemical warfare… naw, it was great. i recommend it to everyone. - purcell
he looks more like a dog? yes, i suppose it looks better, but it always looked good to me. i often wonder what he’s doing… that’s the thing that disturbs me a little bit. - purcell
how many of you have run into a person with a concave face? - purcell
“how many people say that this distance here is greater than this distance here.” “well i think they look the same.” “well you just threw up…” - purcell and laura
20.october.2005
“so i’m going back to school.” “i thought you only had a few classes left.” “yup. they said i had to get it done or i would lose a bunch of credits. i told them to cram their gestapo tactics.” “haha!” “then i figured, fuck it. so next semester i’m going to get the coolest trapper keeper and a lead pencil. and it’s gunna be on!” - spank and kattni
i can’t wait until philosophy class. i am just going to make a hand sign and keep it up. yes i know the answer. - spank
flesh eating viruses…. better than end users. - spank
18.october.2005
get them in, the clock is running. i don’t know what clock is running. i have no idea what i’m talking about. - purcell
“what are you eating..?” “a cookie…” “did it come pre-frosted?..” “..ya..” “..because you shouldn’t have frosted it in here.” - purcell and kattni
the denizens of the moon have nothing but evil intent for us. but they’re frozen. - purcell
17.october.2005
i sent that letter to sue. a mutual friend, billy, knew only that i sent something. i wouldn’t tell him what, except to say that it definitley wasn’t a vibrator based on a mold of my cock. fast forward to a phone call i got from sue over the weekend about the letter. she said she enjoyed the letter although she was told it would have been something much more interesting. and all i could say was, “i bet you’d like that.” rather than something better. such as, “why settle for that when you can have the real thing?” - matt s
6.october.2005
oh, you’re still here…. - purcell
anyone have anything interesting to say, or to talk about?… … okay. - purcell
*clap* ooh, that was a good echo because it’s bouncing off of all the walls. *clap* hear that? *clap* was that a sonic boom you think? *clap* ow, that hurt… - purcell
29.september.2005
and what do our rhesus monkeys tell us… well as you can see it’s a little stronger data for them, but we have to be a little different from them… we bite less than they do… - purcell
how many of you are into whips and stiletto heels… i’ve got a story i could tell you about that… from graduate school… but i won’t… - purcell
28.september.2005
“hey, i could watch america’s next top model. or i could force myself to vomit.” “hey, then you could be on america’s next top model.” - brian and kattni
27.september.2005
after i did some heavy meditation to prepare myself for the bob dylan special. - purcell
well, you smiled, that’s the best i could do on that one. i mean… i can do better than that… i’m going to have to talk to my writers. - purcell
who is that guy that comes on after jon stewart… adam corolla… that guy is so lame, that i watch his monologue to get material that i can’t possibly ever use. - purcell
it’s thought now that women have hyper-color vision… and so they’re constantly tuning the color on the television and people are killing them for doing it. - purcell
women have better color discrimination than men and the men are better than ground squirrels. - purcell
i think newton said it best, and he probably said it in latin… - purcell
you don’t want to get up into a radar tower. i grew up near one, but i guess i’m ok. it wasn’t really so much a tower, as a radar building with electronic monitoring. - purcell
if you remove the lenses from people, which isn’t really a party trick… - purcell
so to birds, it’s always a clear, crisp, bright day. and that’s why they’re so happy all the time. that’s why they sing in the morning. i’m making this up. - purcell
but i don’t know anything about the sprint capability of a chimp, so i wouldn’t bank on it… they’re real fighters… go straight for the genitals. seriously. genitals first, throat is next… - purcell
“i’m going to go home and trash my site.” “why.” “because it’s all slow. i wanted to change how it looked anyway, and when it’s loading it’s all aawwghhhllllaahhh..” “does it make that noise? that’s probably why it’s all slow. it’s like, ‘aww, i gotta send all this sound file, man…’” - kattni and jorge
20.september.2005
this experiment was done on donated rat retinas. you know how you have a doner card on the back of your driver’s license… well rats have them too. and over the years they have donated a number of retinas. - purcell
15.september.2005
when you have a lazy eye, or a turned eye… i can do it… there… did i do it? no?.. i can do it. my wife loves it when i do it. i only do it at special times… especially in moments of passion… she thinks i’m having a stroke. well i do too… - purcell
and that deactivates the cyclic guanosine monophosphates… i love these names, they’re so dirty. - purcell
“think about the poor little rabbit, who has his eyes out on the side of his head, he doesn’t get one eye covering up the blind spot for the other eye… so if you could get into a rabbit’s blind spot, make yourself very tiny, then you could sneak up on a rabbit.” “but then you couldn’t do anything because you’d be very tiny.” “well then you untiny yourself.” - purcell and the inderocker
“if the spot isn’t moving, then the fly doesn’t see it.” “frog.” “right frog. god only knows what the fly is seeing. but he has a much better designed retina than the frog. because it’s not inside out.” - purcell and kattni
god knows what i do, there probably is some medication that would help… - purcell
all primates have relatively stupid retinas. - purcell
8.september.2005
this is going to be a period of acute boredom… followed by spasmodic attacks of acute boredom. - purcell
this is a picture of an airplane. it has nothing to do with what we’re going to do, i just like the picture. - purcell
oh i’ve never used computers before. - purcell
sometimes i amaze myself… ‘how does he even get to school…’ - purcell
see, what you need to do is to badger your subjects until they change their responses. - purcell
how many of you are they. just wondering how many theys are out there. anyway, they test those theys… - purcell
18.august.2005
but i’d feel weird saying “andrew”. it’s got like an … ew on the end. - dave
1.august.2005
atkins just filed chapter 11, and i hear bankruptcy is the new black or something. - matt j
“i believe i have heard of this phenomenon, i believe it involves some kind of ‘junk’ being placed in some kind of ‘trunk’ although i am vague on the specifics.” “yes. i do indeed have some of this junk. and i keep it in my trunk.” “excellent.” - matt j and kattni
27.july.2005
somewhere in the bowels of hell, small children are getting extra torture for you being allowed to think that up. - kattni
22.july.2005
“kashi go lean crunch.” “oh god yes. so good. it destroys my teeth. every bowl is like some kind of dental russian roulette. *crunch crunch crunch* *click* ‘whew, i can have another spoonful.’” - kattni and matt j
i have to start thinking about moving. sara’s like, “you just have to do it once, and then it’s over.” and i’m all “yeah, that’s great, you could say the same thing about walking barefoot over a mile of broken glass.” - matt j
we have a couple guys from the egyptian army in here today, someone started playing “walk like an egyptian”. i nearly fell out of my chair. … i wish i had thought of it. - dave
20.july.2005
even the raunchy scenes are distinctly third rate! - pieter
14.june.2005
well that’s only people that are aware that they are driving… not just co-existing with the road. - dave
9.june.2005
“it asks, ‘is there any other information you’d like to share?’ and he says, ‘i once masturbated into a grapefruit.’” “you can do that?” - kattni and jorge
7.june.2005
“why does it look like he’s wearing pleather.” “he’s the dark lord of the sith, he is not wearing pleather. ” - kattni and jorge
6.june.2005
“sounds like this is getting towards auto-eroticism..” “except that would involve eroticism… i think that’s required for that…” “oh, you left that part out! oh… what’s wrong with me.” “i don’t know.” - purcell and kattni
23.may.2005
i’m going to ruin episode 3 for you. turns out anakin becomes darth vader. i mean, between the commercials, the trailers, the promos, the games, the fact that the next three episodes were done beforehand, who would’ve known? - matt s
12.may.2005
for you to rock any harder you’d have to be at least 50% basalt. - matt j
10.may.2005
how else demonstration would you want me to do it. - andrew
09.may.2005
i have an idea of what my guardian angel might look like… it doesn’t have a body… it has fangs… but that’s just me. - purcell
i like to pick on bickland because he’s skinnier than i am. i think i have more hair than he does… - purcell
here’s how you spot a jew. seriously, there were pamphlets about it. how to spot a jew. the missing foreskin was usually a dead give away… - purcell
i mean he’s 6′2″… blond hair… blue eyes… i’m kind of attracted to him just imagining him right now. - purcell
who knows if the null hypothesis is truly false. you test the entire public… or… there’s a group of somewhat inebriated leprechauns who know. and they don’t tell us. - purcell
must be something else, which i’m sure i’ll be able to recall later. if i read if off some sheet somehere. - purcell
i have no idea why i said that, and i’m sure that several brain cells have died because i did. - purcell
05.may.2005
cinco de mayo de cinco…… - kattni
04.may.2005
that is the only time i ever bought a Cosmopolitan. i learned something about scotch tape on breasts…. - purcell
also in menopause… not that i’m interested… - purcell
i think you’re essentially correct… but i have to be paid to do something. - purcell
02.may.2005
wow. that error is asstacular. - amit
“hooray for wifi from class.” “very nice. back in my day, we had to pass notes. and we liked it.” - kattni and mark
these aren’t notes here, they’re just things i read to amuse myself while talking to you. i have no idea what they mean right now. - purcell
which is most tv shows… you shouldn’t watch most tv shows. malcolm in the middle and .. john stewart. those are the two that you should watch. oh and maybe battlestar galactica. those three will tie the course together nicely. - purcell
what is that. history and systems? i just made that up. - purcell
you should receive a debriefing… not receiving one is a violation of the APA ethics guidelines. wow… so is having sex with your client. though, the two aren’t really related, and i have no idea why that popped into my head. - purcell
rats are fine, i don’t have a problem with rats. - purcell
i have it here… will the dog ever get the cat, and can we facilitate the dog… nevermind. - purcell
there has been enough research done on automatic typing to know that they were channeling a dead spirit… - purcell
just get them the smallest damn bike ever, without the bar in the middle… get them on it, around 4 or 5 years old… without the bar, especially for the males… when they won’t care about that bar… that destroys your urethra… among other things… which they don’t have much of at that age.. - purcell
i hate colleen dellis… i wish she would run… i wish she would get run over… by a big fat dog… - purcell
31.april.2005
“remember that? ‘where is thumbkin, where is thumbkin?’ we used to think that was the greatest thing, because we got to do ‘tall man’…” “it was the greatest thing! still is, probably…” - kattni and andrew
26.april.2005
what do you mean. it’s not super duper g? hah. i’m going to make that standard. - chris c.
i slopped on your table. - chris c.
“i made a mess.” “did you really? ugh.” “ya… cards don’t come out of the carpet either.” - kattni, chris and chris c.
“what are you eating?” “passover food. this is what they call cookies. it’s best not to think about it too hard when you’re eating them.” - kattni and adam
silly jews. silly, silly jews. - chris
25.april.2005
“you’re bouncing on and offline.” “that was a crash.” “must be your lack of gentoo.” “if this was gentoo, i’d have to recompile the program for 4 days before i could reconnect.” - mark and kattni
24.april.2005
no, the couch is winning!! - kattni
everything’s better in british. - kattni
pimp my bride. that’s a recipe for divorce. - kattni
23.april.2005
“are you going to tell me that i’m not and that you want me?” “sure.” - kattni and andrew
“that’s the first time you met me. i was playing guitar with your brother.” “that’s the first time you met me too! i was playing guitar with your brother!” “i know i wanted to f…” - aaron, lorane and andrew
fucking cows. trying to kill us. - andrew
22.april.2005
“and it should auto-mount it too. if it sees it…” “that’s all it takes for me to get mounted. i just have to be seen.” - mark and kattni
i’ve also come to the conclusion that the key to artificial intelligence, is the ability to guess badly. - mark
21.april.2005
“you can suck in your stomach, but you can’t suck in your bitch tits.” “just let it go, man… just let it go.” - kattni and jorge
man, big boy… eat your burger. it’s gunna get cold. - jorge
19.april.2005
hah, she just had a vi meowgasm. - jorge
18.april.2005
if nothing else, it’s a good thing i’m a loser. because i’m technically the windows admin. and if i was actually doing my job, this would be on me. - kattni
“did you look??” “i’m trying not to discourage myself.” - kattni and andrew
now it’s all small. - andrew
17.april.2005
if you’re silver, you better hope i’m the lone ranger. i’m not sure you’d want most of the people here riding you. - kattni
16.april.2005
there is only one man who can eat that burger. and i am that hero. - jorge
13.april.2005
so is he moving into SoftVille now that forgue dropped the ball? - jorge
it’s like… it looks like a duck, smells like a duck, talks like a duck, walks like a duck…. but omg, why is it an elephant. - kattni
i think we should use your aim icon as your hacker head. i’ve been staring at it for like 10 minutes now. - jorge
10.april.2005
i received no email today. i can only assume that there must be something wrong with the intarweb. - kattni
8.april.2005
waste your time? waste my time… i just sat here staring at a solaris box, i want my five minutes back. - andrew
“oh, not another picture…” “it’s ok, it’s just another one, before and after…” “well, eh… but i didn’t lose any weight…” - anna and jorge
BSD more free than GPL… that’s like saying anarchy is more free than democracy because i can just run out and shoot someone… - jorge
tig ol bitties? is that some kind of weird candy? - brandon
hah! camel toe? we’re not in the desert. - andrew
7.april.2005
“you have a penny trying to fall out of your wallet.” “aww! no you can’t!” - kattni and jorge
“i swear, if the burger king “king” gets that close to me, i will knife him.” “but there’s a train of ladies comin’ with a nice caboose.” “ok, if that shows up then he’s off the hook. if not, i’ll knife him. KNIFE HIM.” - chris and kattni
“you should go to bed.” “maybe.” “i’ll enforce a strict curfew in chicago, young lady.” “of course you will. the sooner you get me into bed, the better…” - mark and kattni
6.april.2005
“i like the new license plates. they’re like, aaaaz. i keep waiting for on that’s A A H. then it’s like AAAH!!” “…” “no.” *points* “it is?” - dave and kattni
i was trying to be stupid… then i ended up being… stupid. - andrew
gah, i’m reading a different book. - andrew
hard and smooth, brittle and shiny, volatile and fluid… how about hard and volatile. you touch it and it spits at you. - andrew
“neatoes.” “like cheetos! but neat!” - kattni and jorge
4.april.2005
jeez, orca. who shat in your porridge this morning. - kattni
his 3-4 years on you make him SO WISE. because clearly when you were still on the boobie he was IN THE SANDBOX. - kattni
mmm boobie. - adam
“jay, is grand blanc far for me?” “yes. i told you that.” “i know. but…” “are you nuts? you’re like, “oh, kattni, who has lived 10 minutes from it her whole life clearly wouldn’t know anything about it. so i’m going to ask the guy who moved to OHIO while working at oakland what he thinks about the distance.” - andrew and kattni
“so… sodas?” “i made a tiny bat file…” “ok i had an outstanding question. we need to resolve that before moving on.” “no.” “okay, now what were you saying?” - andrew and ken
you din’t ha no black! - andrew
3.april.2005
stop tearing down my belief system. - andrew
“how to fix an ipod…” “that doesn’t fix it. i’ve tried.” - kattni and andrew
2.april.2005
is that llama or an emu? - andrew
“fly…” “i know. i’m putting my belt on.” “why are you putting on your belt before you zip up your fly.” “in case someone wants to suck my dick.” - kattni and andrew
1.april.2005
i wish they would send me a lot of porn. do you get a lot? i don’t get any. - pieter
30.march.2005
you need to take a video of that magetic fish cleaning thing you have… that’s one of the greatest things i’ve ever seen… it’s right up there with… watching the space shuttle take off. - jorge
26.march.2005
you need electronic anger management, andrew. - kattni
25.march.2005
“how come it looks prettier on my screen than it does on yours.” “because you have an LCD.” “….” - kattni and andrew
24.march.2005
“naw, the esc is just like hungry hungry hippos. *whack*” “sorry, that eluded me, since i’m not intimately familiar with hippos or what they do when hungry.” “it’s a children’s game.” - kyle and amit
23.march.2005
you’re just jealous of my robot shoulder pads. *ZZZT* *ZZZT* - jorge
21.march.2005
smarts is all about finding a way to make the underlying logic of Being make sense to you. Om. *floats in lotus position* - mark k
16.march.2005
i mean, the bloody dog is so close to the ground. every time he farts, he’ll kick up dust. - pieter
that’s what we call short people in africa. dusters… so close to the ground. - pieter
15.march.2005
i’ve never been able to get it at the movies!.. every time i reach an age, they move it up. it used to be 50 for the senior discount, then 55, then 60 and on… it moves every time i get there! - pieter
12.march.2005
do you have tea?.. na… i’ll wait, i’m just gunna stick with beer. - ken
11.march.2005
THAT’S how they calculate finance charges?!? - andrew
08.march.2005
dig a series of intergalactic tunnels! - jorge
it’s just there… if you break it, you get to keep both pieces kind of thing. - jorge
02.march.2005
“hey guys. have you ever taken a dump so hard that you were sweating?” “you should eat more fiber.” “i feel like i ate a whole wheat field. and the chaff. and the soil. and possibly a combined harvester.” - matt j and kattni
you wanna argue with the bitch making 70k a year and who can pick me up and carry me, you GO for it. for me, i’ll be waiting to service her like the stud horse i am. - matt j
28.february.2005
“what’s the uh….. squid!” “what?” “forget it.” - jorge and kattni
25.february.2005
little twirks like that… - mike c
the squeaky wheel gets the grease, but the wheel that shows up screaming with a baseball bat gets new bearings. - than
23.february.2005
he’s stopping by tomorrow. so try not to look too… illegal. - jorge
you have it in backwards, you big pile of crazy! - ken
these are so stupid. so not funny. so dumb. … where’s the porkchop one, that was kind of funny. - andrew
22.february.2005
practice safe petting. - jorge
the puzzle. it was… THE _A_E THAT LAUNCHED A THOUSAND SHI_S. face and ships were not the words i thought of. - chris
19.february.2005
you’re going to get four phds so people will have to call you dr. dr. dr. dr.! - kattni
13.february.2005
hot topic: for all your prepackaged goth needs! - dave
12.february.2005
“isn’t windows fun?” “ya. rol+die.” - andrew and kattni
she’s all meow and shit. - jorge
omg my headphones are huge lol. - jorge
what about high sex… is it funny or something? - andrew
10.february.2005
i like to conserve my wad. - rob
9.february.2005
i have to wait until they sprout. so i know which way is up. - chris
8.february.2005
“see, i admit i don’t know anything, i wish you guys would.” “what are you talking about. i know i don’t know anything. it’s forgue’s big head taking up all the goddamned space in here.” - jorge and kattni
7.february.2005
i’m a non-profit organisation, i’m jorge! - jorge
i gotta chown this shit? - kattni
i wouldn’t remove that, it’s a load bearing poster. - ken
27.january.2005
i hate that. i prefer my keys presented to me! - jorge
24.january.2005
i’m from africa, we worry about leaving tracks like that in the sand! - peiter
21.january.2005
when sick, you should eat boatloads of cawk. cuz if it doesn’t make you feel better it will definitely make someone else feel better. - jay
16.january.2005
well you know, some guy was probably just rowing along in his glass bottom boat and thought. “hey. the bottom of this lake looks just like the shit on my face did last night.” - kattni
10.january.2005
i’ll tell you what. you go up in space and rotate your ass around saturn and we’ll talk. - jorge
9.january.2005
a feng shu consultant charges an assload to come into your house and tell you where to put stuff. - mark k
2.january.2005
the guy is a huge furry faggot. - tx
